The Stories We Inherit: A Four-Week Family Mapping Workshop

Most of us have a sense that our family history matters. That the people who came before us, and the dynamics between them, live on in us in ways we feel but can’t always understand. But few of us have had the chance to look at the nuances of our ancestors' lives and their dynamics closely, or to approach our family members with genuine curiosity and ask the questions we've never thought to ask, or were afraid to. Alongside family systems theory, emerging research in fields like epigenetics has fueled curiosity about the many ways the experiences of previous generations may continue to shape our lives today.

Over four weeks, we'll come together as a group and each build a genogram (visual map of our family) in order to deepen our understanding of where we come from and the patterns that have shaped us. The genogram is grounded in family systems theory: the idea that a family isn't a collection of separate individuals, but an interconnected emotional unit, with a rich tapestry of emotional patterns.

Unlike a family tree, a genogram doesn't just track bloodlines. It captures the emotional patterns between family members, the texture of their relationships, the influence of key events, and the cultural and systemic forces that have shaped the family over time. As a group, we’ll learn to read it, and prepare for real conversations with family members in-between sessions.

We'll meet as a small group of no more than 15, guided by Monica Setaruddin and Kate Hakala — two MFT students who bring their personal practice and clinical training to this work. As part of their training, they constructed genograms and bore witness to each other’s stories. They discovered how historical exploration can lead to personal transformation, unlocked curiosity, and entirely new conversations with their oldest connections. This is a tool typically used by MFT therapists and clients to facilitate relational healing. Seeing the impact it's had on us and the people in our lives not just as clinicians but as humans, we're eager to bring it outside the therapy room and into your hands.

This is a shared journey of guided self-discovery: a space to learn together through instructive sessions, engage in self-inquiry, and be in conversation with a small community doing this work alongside you. While this is not therapy, the facilitators will approach your story with the positive regard, reverence, and openness it deserves.

Sessions
Four sessions, 2.5 hours each, Sundays 3–5:30pm, beginning September 13. A one-week break falls between sessions 3 and 4 to give participants time to conduct their family interviews before the group reconvenes.

Over four weeks, you will:

Build a personal genogram spanning three generations of your family
Learn key concepts from family systems theory in plain, non-clinical language
Identify recurring themes and patterns running through your family
Prepare for and conduct real interviews with family member(s)
Connect your family story to your present-day relationships with yourself and others
Witness and be witnessed in a small, trust-based community

What You'll Receive

Guided teaching and discussion: Weekly instruction grounded in family systems theory and relational therapy, made accessible in a non-clinical setting.
Family map support: Guidance in building your own genogram across three generations, with facilitator support along the way.
Small-group learning community: A cohort of no more than 15 people, building relationships and engaging in cross-dialogue over four weeks.
Family interview preparation: Tools for initiating and conducting conversations with family members — how to prepare, how to handle what surfaces, and how to make meaning from what you hear.
One-on-one mentorship: Each participant receives a private conversation with the facilitators to discuss their family map, themes, and questions.
Weekly take-home exercises: Reflection prompts and exercises to build your family map, prepare for interviews, and deepen personal inquiry between sessions.

About the Teachers
This series is facilitated by Monica Setaruddin and Kate Hakala, Marriage and Family Therapists in training and rising second-year students in Iona University's MFT program.

Monica Setaruddin
Monica is deeply passionate about family and relational therapy — particularly generational patterns, cultural heritage, and family lineage as pathways to self-awareness and insight into how we relate to ourselves and others. Her approach weaves together training in family therapy, years of personal work in therapy, Internal Family Systems, and somatic and contemplative practices, and twelve years working in global public health understanding how systemic power and structural inequity shape families and communities.

Kate Hakala
Kate was drawn to the field of relational therapy, guided by a belief that healing happens within context. Her own generational experiences of family blending and non-traditional caregiving have widened her definition of family and fostered her interest in group dynamics. For 15 years, she's worked as a writer and editor, with a focus on connections, culture, and the issues facing modern relationships. By connecting individuals to authenticity, accountability, and self-compassion, she is invested in helping others reauthor their lives.

Who This Is For
This series is open to anyone curious about better understanding their families and the patterns running through them. No background in therapy or family systems required. You don't need to have a "difficult" family story — just a genuine interest in understanding your own. This is best for people who have the time and capacity to engage between sessions. There will be homework: building your family map, reflecting on what you find, and reaching out to family members for conversations. The work that happens outside the room will help guide our sessions each week.

At least one interview with a family member is required for participation.

Scholarships
We have a small number of scholarship spots available for those facing financial barriers. If cost is preventing you from participating, please reach out with a short note about why this series would be meaningful for you. Scholarships are offered on a rolling, first-come basis.

We especially welcome BIPOC individuals and children of immigrants, recognizing that spaces centering these family experiences and histories can be rare.